There is this Dark Place Where I Go

There is this dark place where I go
when feeling overwhelmed
When life is too much to go on
My light all but dispelled

I take myself up to my room
And lie down on my bed
Surrounding pillows cuddle me
My thoughts are all in dread

I close my eyes and start to cry
The tears flow like a raging river
And every thought about myself
Comes to the race in fever

At every gate they wait to race
To see who wins the day
Sir darkness on the far end smiles
His horse has come to play

Black robe and spears upon him
To take a life and show
He has confidence that this time out
He’ll beat his sorry foe

Beside him are experienced rivals
Ready to add their mark
To set the fear and grief in motion
A death they will embark

And sitting near the other end
A white horse comes to race
An Angel sits atop his back
To take away disgrace

Sir Lord of Life sits patiently
Upon his donkey proud
He’s sure that somewhere in my heart
My purpose can be found

He’s at the far end, far away
From darkness and his grip
He knows he has to rewrite life
And thoughts within its script

He knows that darkness can be found
So easily within
But what grace can He offer
with confidence and win?

And so He prays to His father
For wisdom that heals the heart
From sin and loss, regret and fear
His child needs a new start

He places His words so softly
Upon my heart to hear
He wants His love to comfort me
To know that He is near

The Angel and her white horse
Sit quietly on my pillow
Like a guard at the door between darkness and life
At the ready to be my hero

There are so many at this race
So much of hurt and pain
They’ve come to plant the seed of death
To cheer at the disdain

They’ve come to make this life of mine
Seem worthless and mundane
To wipe away God’s weary promise
And blast it with profane

And all the feelings I have within
Like a cancer start to rise
I hear the roar of thunder
I hear my heart of lies

That all the ones I hold so dear
Are somehow better without me
That life is far too painful
And my heart is far too weary

Why must we hurt each other
With words that cut like spears
That foster hate and distance
And open wounds of fear?

The words plant seeds of worthlessness
Of broken hearts and broken spirits
But life can only take so much
And promises soon become limits

They hit so hard, these words we say
They rarely stroll in softly
They mean to hurt and take apart
The consequences are always costly

So off I go to the races
To fight this war within
To ask forgiveness for my disgrace
To humbly claim my sin

I pray that love will find me
That love will surely win
That those I love won’t leave me
And know I’m only human

I pray that someone save me
From this hell I fight inside
And plant a seed of forgiveness
Of love that has not died

The race is in full oscillation now
The mud splashed on my face
Of fear and hate and hopelessness
They won’t give up their pace

I see the light lagging far behind
The Lord, he can be seen
He may be slow, at times he fades
But determined to intervene

For He loves me more than anyone
And though this life is hard
He lets me know in whispers
That He holds me in high regard

And Angel white upon my pillow
Sits quietly and prays
That I will see the love around me
And the error of my ways

I pray that those I love in life
Will love me just as much
I pray that they won’t leave me
In darkness and its clutch

And so I wait in loneliness
Upon my pillow of tears
For a glimmer of hope and strength within
To bury all my fears

And as the race comes to a close
I see all the repairs
Within my heart and family
That needed all these prayers

An Angel kisses me with some strength
To comfort all my pain
And lets me rest this heavy heart
So love and peace remain

So sleep takes hold of my weariness
And dreams begin to flow
That maybe life is worth the pain
And we all need each other to grow

Another day at the races
But this time let it be
Without the many participants
That bring me to my knees

The sun is up and I can see
That God has kept His promise
To carry me when I’m at my lowest
And give me His grace and solace

For He loves me more than anyone
And though this life is hard
He lets me know in whispers
That He holds me in high regard

And Angel white upon my pillow
Sits quietly and prays
That I will see the love around me
And the error of my ways

I pray that those I love in life
Will love me just as much
I pray that they won’t leave me
In darkness and its clutch

February 23, 2017
Featured Artwork by Sefira Lightstone

Poetry Copyright © Mary Susan Vaughn | Year Posted 2017